College Road Trip Day 1: Indianapolis

In Indianapolis, Indiana for the first time. I lived in Ohio for three years, long ago, but Indiana was basically the state we cut through to get up to Chicago to hang with our friend Steve Freund–or to go to Ann Arbor for blues gigs at The Blind Pig.We stayed out of the city because we arrived at the start of rush hour, but we’ll head downtown tomorrow to Butler University .so that Zack can check out the school and spend time with the bass professor.
This is the first road trip Zack and I have taken together in years, and it’s been good so far.
His girlfriend called from California and asked “Is your mom pissing you off yet?”
When he said no, she said, “Oh, is she right next to you?”
“Yeah, but she’s not pissing me off, anyway,” he said. (That was a good response).
We had dinner at the upscale mall north of the city, agreed that northern Indianapolis looked like Livingston, NJ, and then holed up in the hotel room and watched 28 Days Later, one of my favorite flicks–which he had not seen. (BTW, the alternative ending is short and to the point–Jim dies, despite Selena’s best efforts, and the two women go on together) Then we watched ‘ Scary Movie 2,” which is one long fart joke mixed with some suggestive sexual scenarios. Now he’s doing push-ups, and I’m writing this. Tomorrow, we both plan to hit the gym and then go into what will be a long and hopefully productive day looking at schools.
The idea Zack could be in college here next fall–or be in college anywhere, to be honest–is both a source of pride and of sadness. It is a great feeling to see him become an independent person, branching out to have a more separate life. At the same time, I feel sad about it–one of those emotions that aren’t rational and can’t be helped. I want him to be able to live in different cities and have new experiences. But achieving that will take him away from us even more. At the same time that I’m working to help him become more separate, the fact he is becoming more separate is a source of pride and regret.
How will my life change when he is away at school? I have to look at this evolution as a change for all of us to grow and change our focus.