Not quite kosher koans, via Brad Feld:

• If there is no self … Then whose arthritis is this?
• Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen … And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
• Be patient and achieve all things … Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
• To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals … You might want to see a specialist.
• To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following … Get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

More here.