Wild Oats: Translations from the teen-age-ese

Being one of those formerly wild kids, who did a great job of hiding my madness until I left home at 17, I am amazingly sensitive–would the word paranoid suffice?–to the tricks played by teens I know(who shall remain nameless to protect their privacy.) Unfortunately, I’m the sort of parent whose bullshit radar is turned on at the slightest provocation, so what kids say–what I then hear–are really different.
Kid: A few of us are going camping. No, about ten–for XX’s birthday.”
Translation: About 100 kids are going off in the woods, and we’re having a rave.
Kid: “We’re going out to get some groceries for the trip.”
Translation: We’re stashing $100 bucks of liquor in the trunk–don’t look.
Kid: “Yeah, XX is driving so we can fit everything in the truck.”
Translation: I’m going to be so wasted, I couldn’t back out of the driveway.
Kid: “I love you, see you Saturday.”
Translation: Don’t call, won’t pick up anyway.
Of course now that I am the parent, it would be wrong to assume that the teens I know are up to no good, so I work hard to give them the benefit of the doubt.
On the other hand, if any of you little f&(*$ are reading this blog, watch out –cause if I discover that any of this is true, not just the product of an overprotective adult’s mind, trips to Europe and all good stuff are off.
And you know who you are.
(Okay, that last part was all a joke. Unless your name begins with…)
Ha Ha Ha Still joking
What, you don’t think it’s funny, too?