“What if our strongest wish was to be praised . . . not to be loved or understood or desired? . . . What would our relationships be like? . . . We might find ourselves saying things like: The cruelest thing one can do to one’s partner is to be good at fidelity but bad at celebration. . . . Or it’s not difficult to sustain a relationship but it’s impossible to keep a celebration going. The long applause becomes baffling.”
–Adam Phillips, a London shrink, writing in Monogamy, quoted in the NY Times.

“What if our strongest wish was to be praised . . . not to be loved or understood or desired? . . . What would our relationships be like? . . . We might find ourselves saying things like: The cruelest thing one can do to one’s partner is to be good at fidelity but bad at celebration. . . . Or it’s not difficult to sustain a relationship but it’s impossible to keep a celebration going. The long applause becomes baffling.”
–Adam Phillips, a London shrink, writing in Monogamy, quoted in the NY Times.