Quote of the Day, relationship edition

“But here’s the thing no one ever tells you: you are not a slave to your attraction patterns. They can be changed. They were programmed into you in the first place, and you can work to reprogram them to suit yourself.
Virtually always, the person who “just isn‘t attracted” any more has completely accepted the young/thin/pretty ideal as the only sexually attractive one. Now, let’s see why people do that. Could it be because that is force-fed to all of us from a very young age (and the younger you are, the more TV you probably watched as a child, and the earlier the force-feeding started). By the time we reach puberty, we’ve already been taught what we’re supposed to like and respond to and, surprise! Our genitals behave accordingly.”
Laurie Toby Edison and Debbie Notkin, Body Impolitic, discussing a Dan Savage advice column about a man who now finds his wife unattractive and doesn’t want to sleep with her.

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  1. jen_chan, writer SureFireWealt says:

    Hmm… I certainly like the discussions better than the actual advice. While open communication sounds like a great idea, there is a way to go about things. It’s not called sugar-coating either. But how would you feel if your most important person tells you, “You have gotten fat and unattractive and my sex drive is nil, so can we do something about it before I bail on you?” Especially when you already have such a low self-esteem.

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